Friday, July 1, 2016

When Your Book is Cancelled.

So I lived through every writer’s nightmare. Hooray, glad that’s over!
I’d hardly realized this until another writer pointed it out. I suppose my rose-colored glasses were tainted pretty heavily.

After a year, nearly to the date, of deep revisions, my middle-grade book, GLITCH and its option book, were canceled by Month9Books/Tantrum. In a statement from Publisher’s Weekly about the company reverting rights to 50 authors across the board due to health problems, lost counsel, and a death within the company. (The perfect storm) I’m devastated, to say the least. 

Last year, I had to tango with writing/revising three books. (While helping my senior with dyslexia prepare for acting conservatory). It was grueling. I stayed in evenings to work on the books, took weekends to write, and woke earlier. All I did all year was work on those three books. Thank the heavens I have a young adult novella out with Leap Books/Shine imprint (May 16, 2016), getting favorable reviews.The bad news about my rights being reverted came two days its release. I had to attend its book party with a heavy heart, forcing myself out there when I was nauseous, sleep deprived, and ill with sadness. I really don’t know how, but I keep reminding myself to get through it, one task at a time. Playing mind games, that this is for the better. It will work out. The next deal will be even better as fellow writers said.

The sighs and heartbreak have lightened up, a little. But today I was reminded at 4am when everything is magnified and strangles me with doubt. I’m reminded of the newest agent rejection on a partial submission, after being so close. I’d joined a debut group, became an administrator, (this is actually the silver lining: meeting The Swanky 17s --friends for life!) They are a most awesome and supportive group.

Nothing is really wasted. I know, the writing is writing.

But this will take some time. And it was time to write about my experience. Way back, during #Pitmad, many were excited for CTRL+ALT+DELETE, the title before it became GLITCH. I had so much enthusiasm and support for this book to be out there for KIDS to read, for it to stimulate their imaginations. My editor at Tantrum Books was lovely and encouraging. I had no idea the bottom would collapse the way it did.

If you’d like to read about what happened to Month9Books and their imprints, the link is here. After I read the article I decided I should be glad, overjoyed to have my rights back, which have yet to arrive since the email announcement on June 8th.   I'm not.  More information found on Writer Beware. Make sure to read the enlightening comments. 

So, I’m searching once again for an agent; my YA thriller (THE UNMOVING SKY) is getting great reviews. I’m busy rewriting the beginning of a YA historical and writing a fresh draft for July Camp Nano. Taking this one-day at a time, keeping occupied with the writing and trying not to think too much about what was. If there's one thing I've learned, its that I need/want/deserve to have an agent. If not for GLITCH then for the next.