My First Post for The International Thriller Writers.

Being a debut writer with ITW I was asked to write a post for their weekly magazine The Thrill Begins. What was I to write I wondered? But with my recently cancelled middle-grade book, and all the work writing and editing that went into it before the rug was pulled out from under me, I found my subject: Taking the Time for Life. 

Writing, writing and more writing.

I did it every day. I woke early as possible to savor those few quiet hours of my day job before customers came clamoring for coffee. I woke earlier on the weekends than my children did. I wrote after cooking dinner, or researched scientific details through the evening. I spent nearly every minute of every day last year writing, editing, and revising three projects while helping my college-bound dyslexic son prepare to audition for four Shakespeare plays. Read more.

Writers and the Doubting Blues

       … and one small measure that might help, aside from a good night’s sleep.

Writers, we go along this path impassioned by our thoughts and inspirations, characters, and twisting plots. We read as much as we can about writers block, contract mishaps, predators, friends struggles, long journeys, and depression. We might begin writing as the most optimistic person and still things happen that can bring you down.

Take depression, the blues, that low-down isolated feeling. Writers are isolated.  No matter what, you are going to find yourself alone at some point—because, hey writers take what’s in their brains and put into the world in physical form, and that needs a little think/inspiration/muse time.

You can either embrace the aloneness, which many of us do, or become swallowed by it. And many of us do. I’ve certainly had my days of doubt. Some days I’m better at moving through it. I’ve had to develop skills for this. My mother has suffered depression all my life.

Maybe you experience mood swings, and who hasn’t, whether from cyclical body rhythms, diet or life events. You may feel physically alone. That’s par for the course, the weight of responsibility and anxiety for the future, or fear.  It’s human. We go there. We can visit or we can stay.

In the beginning of my writing journey— not all the way to five years old, but during my definitive push for publication I read so many stories of others and the pitfalls, the things that can go wrong, I thought I was prepared mentally. I wasn’t going there. It can’t happen to me because I “know” better. It’s an illusion and I’ll push it away, I might tell myself.

On a few accounts, I’ve felt the wall of the blues pressing on me in physical form, at times when I had no reason to feel blue.

I found my diet at the time to be rich in sugar and processed foods. I unwittingly experimented with this idea, by eating most of my children’s Halloween candy and for the next two days felt glum and downtrodden. When I figured out the diet connection, many of my mood swings, and much of my anxiety calmed down or disappeared completely.  My diet was key to my feelings, and how well, strong and energetic I felt. Now I’ve become gluten intolerant. As I grow older I find I must constantly fine-tuning my diet. I steer clear of chemically produced produce as well. Trial and error worked for me.  It’s heredity. Many in my family have health issues, and never make the diet/food connection. They keep on their habitual food path and continue to suffer.

Guess what I want to say is depression, blues, low-down feelings are real, and it never fully goes away. What I mention here are blues with no known reason, not the stress or depression of dealing with life’s unexpected burdens. Life is filled with ups and downs, all the gorgeous and messy fodder we need for our stories. Writers are like warriors, taking life’s blows and reliving them on the page for others to experience.  Maybe we can ride the fear like a wave, knowing the doubts will pass eventually if we can float above the waters of emotion.

Some days I can dissolve the blues by running outside, along the Hudson River. It’s the best to help me de-stress, and I usually follow it up with a thirty-minute meditation on the pier, weather permitting. That’s my perfect day.  Most everything rolls off of me after a 5k run -- even my teens’ maniac bickering the moment I walk in the door.

What are some of the ways you beat the writer-low-down blues or writer-isolated-doubts?  Because we’ve ALL been there. But we sure don't want to stay. 

How (my) Home Renovations Are Like Book Revisions.

As I bent over for the hundredth time to reorganize, either the kitchen or the living room this week, I began to realize that the constant going over was quite like revisions.

Dead tired, I thought, what am I learning from this? It was grueling, our landlord’s handyman, sloppy. I had to continually clean up after his and my husband’s mess. I came home to a surprise, each day, unwarned, the kitchen wrapped in plastic with millions of white water-based paints splattered across the wood floors. I cleaned up the kitchen, and the next day, it happened again – for the second coat. And I cleaned that.

This had gone on for over a month, with one handyman making his way through our apartment, after a sub-zero winter left us with a steam pipe break and nearly collapsed wall. 

I asked myself, what am I learning from this? This cannot be a wasted effort. Granted, I’d eventually get a wall and a painted apartment and several neglected repairs. (In years past, I did the wall painting) But the slow and messy progress was like a cruel joke. 

My husband works nights, and he wrestled with the handyman during the day while I watched the café – and wrote. Thank the heavens! However, I’d pay for that when I got home.

With revisions, you feel like you’re doing the same thing, over and over, most of the time. You fix a page, maybe a beta reader reads it, and you utilize their notes, or you revise because revisions are an ongoing process and you have faith that the work will get done and turn out right by the end. And eventually you push through – warrior style. 

Which reminds me of a great Cheryl Strayed interview clip you can hear on Soundcloud, about writing like a warrior. Coincidentally, I heard the interview for the first time, during this exhausting time. Just what I needed to hear.  

Maybe this is all I learned.

Just to push through. Keep going. And hold that polished kitchen/MS in your mind’s eye until the work is done.

Then stand back, and remember: you earned this.  The reward is getting the work finished. In my case, it's uncertain when the rubble of creation will form. But for now I'll take a respite, and just in time for Mother's Day.  

Making the Decision to Pause the Music.

Hardest decision EVER! I spent years working on my music, writing original tunes and studying jazz and improvisation with various teachers. Four years hosting a jam session I created to get the performance practice I needed and to help other vocalists. Since I had the space, I’d create it and they would come. Sure helped that my husband owns one of the hippest jazz venues in NYC.

As I was trying to find my voice in jazz, I was also trying to develop my voice in fiction. A stranger once told me, “Those are two of the hardest businesses to crack into.”  Thank you, kind stranger. But he was right.

It’s always, do what you love, what’s in your heart. But what if you love several things and you aren’t half bad at them, either?

I already resigned myself to put down the paintbrushes and stop my figurative sculpture classes. Leave the painting to weekend meditations.

To help me decide I’d boil it down to one thing: Story Telling, which is what Jazz singers do. They tell an emotional journey, a tale. I love connecting with the emotional core of the song.

I was energized by the thrill and the buzz of live performances for years, and I became pretty good. Then I stopped.

There were a few personal reasons I ended the jam session, last September. As in, if you aren’t having fun – why bother. I didn’t need it to pay my rent. And the truth is I made scarcely anything after paying my pianist. It was quite a bit of behind the scenes work, with promo, etc. But it was more than monetary rewards. It was helping others when I was in a position to do so — and getting my practice on. But the lifestyle – the nights and the longer nights – I didn’t think I could do – not with one parent already working every night.  Now, if I could sing at Jazz brunches every weekend I’d be down for that, but it’s not very realistic.

As a kid, I was always singing, and often writing stories. Both have been a part of me for as long as I can remember.

I made the decision to focus on my fiction. I still jam with friends, but the time needed to go out and hustle for gigs, and search for musicians at this time in my life isn’t going to work out.  All I need, to focus on my writing is me -- for now. Until I want to publish them, that is.

We can only do so much on our own. Eventually we need the help of others, even the solitary practice of writing. And we need our readers!

I want grow as a writer and learn my craft from inside and out and become the best fiction writer I can be.

I write during the day, as I babysit the family Jazz club and attend to café customers. At night, I research craft, or history for the story I’m working on, (make dinner!) and read at night. There’s scarcely enough time. I must be extremely disciplined to get the work done. But I LOVE it!!! I could spend hours (if my rear end would let me) in my fiction. Time dissolves; hours pass, and I hardly notice where the day went. It's a little different when I’m editing. But, shh, I actually enjoy editing. This may be part of the reason I always over-cut my bangs. I’ve also been known to over-edit. Oh, for the love of first novels.

Today, I pause the music. But it’s not the end. Oh Lord, no. The music is in me. I am a storyteller. I just cannot do it all, all at once. Right? This is what I tell myself.  Cause, I sure do miss performing. (I vocalize every day, no matter what, to relax and keep my instrument supple) And lucky for me, I spend my days writing in a Jazz club. So the music is also, all around me.

What have you had to put aside to focus on writing?

If you'd like to hear an original song of mine. (2011)

ALL THAT'S CHANGED lyrics/melody/vocals: Karen lee

 The live shows were of poor phone quality. You'll find one or two on my youtube channel and more on www.myspace.com/karenleehallam. 

Staying Organized After The First Draft.

You’ve just finished your messy, pukey draft. Now what? Where do you begin?

I love writing drafts.  Anything is possible, and it doesn’t even have to make sense – yet.  Over the past few years, I’ve hand drafted, meaning I’ve handwritten thousands of words. I won’t be able to keep that up much longer. My writing has become illegible, and my hand cramps. Ah, the joy. I do still prefer it when I can. Plus, if I get stuck I can doodle – and there’s no Internet attached to my composition book. 

This is how I wrote as a full-time mom, dragging my kids around to the parks, and pools, places where a computer would not be practical anyway.

How do you stay organized while writing a novel? Which techniques do you use?

 I’m constantly evolving as an organized individual, and look for simple ways of keeping notes and ideas in order. I really enjoy Scrivener for this, where Characters and Places have templates of their own, and you can detail every little thing.

On Anita Nolan’s Blog she writes: The End Is Not The End, a great post that lays the revision process down. (Recommended by Cheryl Klein at her Plot Workshop) It’s my go-to reference. What are they blogs or posts on the revision process that have helped you the most?

Does outlining help you? Or do you save it as the last resort, when you’re really stuck?  That’s the way I fly, on the fly, writing and scribbling just to get it down, and when I’m stuck and in need of ideas I begin writing a list of possibilities.

What do you have to shove aside to get the words down? For me, I write first thing in the morning, without reading the news, or checking Facebook—both of which could change my entire mood for the day and inhibit my productivity.  Once the words are down I can move on.  I’m a morning writer, and when I have the most energy. Evenings are for dreaming.

How do you manage when you have young children, or with children at all?   As for me, see above, when I carried a comp book around everywhere when my boys were young.

Annie Neugebauer’s blog has this for the Organized Writer:

Because organization is just a framework for creativity. There you’ll find templates for submission charts, novel scenes, character charts, questions for an agent interview, and more!  This was quite the find. Thanks Annie!

Guess I’m looking for new and improved ideas. There’s always room for more.  Whatcha got?