April is Poetry Month!

I've unearthed volumes of poetry since digging up old diaries for the YA novel I'm working on. Many of the poems are in (desperate) need of editing. I've wanted to share a few for awhile. But I was scared. The poems below were written in the 1990's.  

Alone

I always write when I feel alone,

Inside my mind, there is a home.

The stories or levels, the steps the stairs, an attic holds you unawares.

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What lurks inside those shadowy places? I never really see the faces.

***

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Creating through thought and creating despair. I see you with others and try not to compare. Maybe it was the words we said. Or the hopes we shared. This caused my head to believe you cared. Childish, I know in my head, but my heart will pretend, and go till the end.

***

If it’s silence we want why create tears? In the hearts of millions a thoroughfare of fears, collapse under wishes unreceived, no need for greed.

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Cast away the mask one wears to cover, the face of hate not shared by another.

***

Tear apart

Fixed ideas

That chain you

Keeps you

Behind

Your stranger

Facing up

To breathe

The danger

Insanity

Not forced

To linger

Not wrapped

Around

Your little finger

Leave me to the heights

Of wonder

I’ll move aside

The rocks

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I’m under.

YA Book Review: What I Lost by Alexandra Ballard

What I Lost by Alexandra Ballard
My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I received an ARC for an honest review. This is a repost from Kidliterati 




What I Lost is a compelling story about sixteen-year-old, Elizabeth, who has dropped 4 sizes in only a few months, lost a boyfriend, and struggles with an eating disorder against her better judgment. Pained by the sight of greasy, sticky, full-fat food, or the horror more than a morsel might touch her lips. Her struggle is painful, recognizable, and terribly real.

When Elizabeth’s parents bring her to Wallingfield, a treatment center for girls going through a similar struggle, we meet a host of characters, each desperately trying to survive their own eating disorder. It’s excruciating. You feel for each girl, and her story, as you discover the pain that brought them here.

Although Elizabeth doesn’t like being away from home, Wallingfield quickly becomes a refuge, a place of safety, while she wrestles with the idea of staying there for good or getting well enough to leave. The recovery rate is slim. She knows this. Her roommate Lexi leaves, inspiring Elizabeth to eat just enough to (hopefully) return to the comfort of her home. When mysterious packages arrive for Elizabeth, the girls convince her that she has a secret admirer. Surely, it’s her ex-boyfriend with the clues he’d sent. Had he forgiven her?

After treatment, and counseling, and a final heartbreaking confrontation with her mother, who has her own size-0 obsession, could Elizabeth be ready to leave Wallingfield? You walk each step as Elizabeth works to find herself and be more than the disorder.

Authentic, and heartbreaking, a must read for our girls -- and boys! WHAT I LOST is an important book for our times. I hope it empowers our girls to love their bodies in all their glorious shapes and sizes.
Expected publication: June 6th, 2017 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux


View all my reviews

In Honor of World Poetry Day.

#WorldPoetryDay snuck up on me.  
Poetry was my first love and it brought me around to finally penning longer works such a novels. So, I'm jumping in!

Here's a flashback from when I met my partner, Alex. We've together over 20 years! The others are also older poems. I have many, but I'll spare you most. Here are a few randomly selected pieces:

First Sight

How does my merry mirth give rise to a single thought, now divided into two—me and you. Tied as one, we’ve begun to shine, shrouds of covers layer us in colors. Warm to the touch, burning fire to behold. Pure gold.

The magician's hand has brought the alchemist's touch and transmuted all my fears into the promising years, seen now through a gazing crystal clear.

Creativity

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I’ve tasted something which leaps from you, in droplets and bubbles. Offerings from your imagination, deities who give forth that which marks a passage closer to them. Whatever capsule one could find, a grueling task to define. 

Outside images, the mind illuminates through the test of time, solidify into concrete worlds of reality and form—not all you see but more. All that derives from the experience, all that pushes toward the future foundation you build upon, creates an immense fortress of solitude and happiness. 

Creativity II

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Creating through thought and creating despair. I see you with others and try not to compare. Maybe it was the words we said or the hopes we shared. Which caused my head to believe you cared. Childish, I know, but my heart will pretend to go till the end.

Come Together 

If it’s silence we want why create tears? In the hearts of millions, a thoroughfare of fear collapse under wishes received. no need of forgotten greed.

-->

Cast away the mask one wears to cover, the face of hate not shared by another.